June 11 Diary, Gemini Blue

by
Philip Red Eagle

for Katherine

24 May 1996

Awake at 4 AM

FM radio plays me
golden oldies.

Awake before morning light

sliding between word

and melody

trying hard not to find regret.

I pull upon a thread of remembrance

and find you.

June 11, 1967 - Great Lakes

Irish Birthday Girl smiles

Slow Indian Boy falls

Slow Dance to

Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

Rock to Credance,

live.

I drink Olde Style,

tall

You're into Gin and 7.

A drunken sailor falls,

spreads his ice across the floor.

You ask me to help him to his feet.

His dignity?

I balk

then do it anyway.

Nam boy, you say,

from the hospital.

I pull him to his feet.

We slide him out the side door

before security can get him.

Love and Like struggle for two months
and a week.

On August 18th you put me on the bus.

June 11, 1968 - Long Beach, California

I call from the end of the pier to say,

Happy Birthday.

From the other end of this line you say

Sorry,

you're going to marry,

soon.

I hide my tears in Coors

and sulk

and listen to the Doors.

June 11, 1969 - San Diego

The war goes on over there.

We are here,

preparing,

and tired of it.

June 11, 1970 - Sunset Strip

I flirt with a nude dancer at the Melody Room.

She smells of body makeup and lipstick

and 7-Up.

Her body swings

Born to Be Wild.

Wants to know if I want to go out next week.

I am young and impressed with myself.

I have switched to scotch and water

tap back.

I tell her I knew a Gemimi once.

In two days my orders are cut.

I can't say that I didn't want to go.

There is something about this

bravado thing.

June 11, 1971 - Nha be, RVN

I have come to Cutty & water

Cold Duck back.

My run to Saigon is showing results.

I am slick.

I have stopped thinking about

you.

I have stopped thinking about

before.

I don't dream

of anyone.

I am trapped

in these strange moments;

strange days.

We are lost here.

What are we?
Who am I?

R & R starts on July 1st.
I wait.

June 11, 1996

I pull upon a thread of regret.

I have found remembrance.

It is you.

It is me.

We are trapped in those two months;

a time I loved

and regret.

I can live with regret;

I loved you anyway.

Tacoma, 1996

Return to the Philip Red Eagle website

24 May 1996
Awake at 4 AM
FM radio plays me
	golden oldies.
Awake before morning light
	sliding between word
	and melody
trying hard not to find regret.
I pull upon a thread of remembrance

	and find you.
June 11, 1967 - Great Lakes
Irish Birthday Girl smiles
Slow Indian Boy falls
Slow Dance to
	Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You
Rock to Credance,
	live.
I drink Olde Style,
	tall
You're into Gin and 7.
A drunken sailor falls,
spreads his ice across the floor.
You ask me to help him to his feet.
	His dignity?
I balk
	then do it anyway.
Nam boy, you say,
	from the hospital.
I pull him to his feet.
We slide him out the side door
before security can get him.
Love and Like struggle for two months
	and a week.
On August 18th you put me on the bus.
June 11, 1968 - Long Beach, California
I call from the end of the pier to say,
	Happy Birthday.
From the other end of this line you say
	Sorry,
	you're going to marry,
	soon.
I hide my tears in Coors
	and sulk
	and listen to the Doors.
June 11, 1969 - San Diego
The war goes on over there.
We are here,
	preparing,
	and tired of it.
June 11, 1970 - Sunset Strip
I flirt with a nude dancer at the Melody Room.
She smells of body makeup and lipstick
	and 7-Up.
Her body swings
	Born to Be Wild.
Wants to know if I want to go out next week.
I am young and impressed with myself.
I have switched to scotch and water
	tap back.
I tell her I knew a Gemimi once.
In two days my orders are cut.
I can't say that I didn't want to go.
There is something about this
	bravado thing.
June 11, 1971 - Nha be, RVN
I have come to Cutty & water
	Cold Duck back.
My run to Saigon is showing results.
	I am slick.
I have stopped thinking about
	you.
I have stopped thinking about
	before.
I don't dream
	of anyone.
I am trapped
	in these strange moments;
	strange days.
We are lost here.
	What are we?
	Who am I?
R & R starts on July 1st.
	I wait.
June 11, 1996
I pull upon a thread of regret.
I have found remembrance.
It is you.
It is me.
We are trapped in those two months;
	a time I loved
	and regret.
I can live with regret;
I loved you anyway.